Toilet Selfie For Would Be Brides

A groom poses for a ‘toilet photo’ so that his bride can apply for the financial aid.

BHOPAL: This is one pre-wedding photo shoot no one would want to remember. But there's no escaping it in Madhya Pradesh if the bride is to get Rs 51,000 under Mukhya Mantri Kanya Vivah/Nikah Scheme.

Application forms for the scheme are accepted only after the bride proves that her would-be husband's house has a toilet. 

Since government officials cannot go around checking loos everywhere, they demand a selfie-standing-in-toilet from the groom.

The embarrassment of standing in a toilet and taking a photograph - thankfully not in wedding regalia is not limited to rural areas. In the state capital, Bhopal Municipal Corporation (BMC) officials make the same demand.

"Imagine a marriage certificate, attached with the photograph of the groom in a toilet. I was told that the Qazi will not read the Nikah unless I provide the photograph," said Sameer (name changed), a resident of Bhopal's Jehangirabad. He is one of 74 couples to be wed in mass marriage at Central Library in Bhopal on Thursday.

"The idea of grooms being required to prove they have a toilet before marrying is not a bad thing. The social justice department has not issued any such directive. The implementation of the policy can be better," said J N Kansotiya, principal secretary of department of social justice and disabled welfare.

The toilet clause has been there since launch of scheme in 2013, but the photographs are a recent addition.

"Earlier, there was a relaxation in the policy. Grooms were told to build a toilet within 30 days of marriage. That has been done away with," said BMC official in charge of the CM marriage scheme, C B Mishra.

There is nothing wrong in attaching a photo of the groom in his toilet. It is not part of the wedding card,” said Mishra.

It gets even weirder if the bride lives in another city or district. “There was a marriage in Silwani, some 90km from Bhopal. The local government official did not approve the marriage till the groom (back in Bhopal) provided proof of him standing in a toilet. We understand that toilets are an intrinsic part of Swachh Bharat mission, but the process could be better,” said BMC corporator and local Congress leader Rafiq Qureshi. He has organized three mass marriages this year, and with the civic elections scheduled for 2020, there may be scores more mass weddings — and hundreds more groom-in-the loo photos.

Politicians on both sides admit that grooms are at the receiving end of this cleanup mission, and wish there was a more graceful way of asking grooms to prove they have toilets.

The Mukhya Mantri Kanya Vivah/Nikah Scheme is for economically backward sections. On December 18 last year, only a day after coming to power, the Congress government had hiked the financial assistance from Rs28,000 to Rs51,000. It led to flood of applications, making it difficult for officials to assess each house for toilets. 

Source: Times of India

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Kissing By Father-In-Law Leads To Bride Refusal To Marry

KANPUR: A band, baja and baraat went empty handed after the bride refused to marry the bridegroom on moral grounds when her would be father-in-law kissed her cousin. 

The incident took place in Farrukhabad district in Kanpur. 

The marriage of Ruchi, daughter of Parmeshwari Dayal from Nagla Khairband village in Farrukhabad, was fixed with Rajesh, son of Baburam from Nehru Nagar of Jaithara in Etah. 

On the wedding day, the baraat reached Nagla Khairband village. All was well till the time of 'jaimal' ceremony when the bride's cousin Anita (name changed), who had come from Nagla Bhamrasa village of the district, also sharing the stage with her sister, was kissed by the groom's father Baburam even as the bride and her family looked on in deep disapproval. 

Piqued at his behaviour, Ruchi refused to marry and ordered the marriage party to return immediately. Sensing seriousness of the situation, Rajesh's father apologised to the girl and her parents publicly. But Ruchi refused to give in. Ruchi's mother, who also rushed from Etah, tried to pacify her but she refused to budge citing moral reasons. 

Later, the bridegroom and his father were confined to an enclosure by the girl's side and police were informed. While narrating the incident on phone, bride's cousin Brijesh Kumar said that the wedding party was allowed to return to Etah only after it agreed to return the gifts and reimburse the expenses amounting to Rs 27,900 incurred by the family of the girl on marriage arrangements. 

The groom's family returned the gifts and paid the money to the bride's family for the expenses incurred, the police said. "Though police assistance was sought, the matter was resolved mutually by both the sides," said SHO Kotwali RP Yadav. 

Source: TOI